Ruth is a full-time writer. Foodie. Happy camper. Wanders a lot. Used to have the worst taste in men. A reformed swipe-a-holic. Reviving her blog after its death.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Patrick (the classmate, not the doctor) is threatening never to help me with anything if I don't give him the URL of my blog.
I don’t know why I don’t want to give him that when I openly share this to other people.
He says that he thinks it’s because so many bad things are written about his barkada. Specifically about his asshole of a friend.
I told him that maybe it’s because I don’t want him to know what I think about on my spare time or the moments when I’m not talking, texting, chatting or malling with him.
Maybe I’m afraid that if he starts reading this he’ll have a Ruth-overdose and start to get bored with me. That scares me a whole lot more.
I know it’s just a matter of time before he starts reading this, so I guess, I could talk more openly about him in this site. I don’t know. I’ve been keeping to myself how we’ve become so close to each other recently. Though most of my friends already know, I can’t put it into writing.
The truth of the matter is that I’m scared. I’m scared of the judgments people would make about us. About how we suddenly turned into each other’s confidantes a few months after my breakup with his best friend; about the number of hours that I spend with him in a week.
Actually, the minute I realized that I like him, I knew that I was heading for trouble. I know that people could assume that 1) I’m using him to get back at my ex 2) I’m using him to get my ex back.
I couldn’t blame them because the timing couldn’t be worse.
Maybe, when I don’t have a paper to write due in a few hours, maybe when my future is not in peril I could write more how we started to become friends. But right now, I just want to put it into writing where everyone could see.
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