Ruth is a full-time writer. Foodie. Happy camper. Wanders a lot. Used to have the worst taste in men. A reformed swipe-a-holic. Reviving her blog after its death.
Monday, November 01, 2004
My grandmother never learned how to read or to write. She liked to gossip and she enjoyed watching other people fight. She could outcurse any bum in the neighborhood. She held the Palengke Queen title for more than 5 decades.
When I was really, really young, she would hold a guitar and sing songs of love in Ilonggo. My mom said that lola composed them herself. Mama said that she used to join competitions and win the grand prize. The prize money usually means food on the table for weeks.
When I was learning the Japanese Occupation in elementary, mama urged me to ask lola about her personal experience.
Lola talked about how as a young girl she would cover her body with soot to make her look unattractive. She told me that once, their family had to hide beneath the soil and cover their faces with coconut husks for breathing purposes.
Lola said that it was a scary time. Japanese soldiers would step on their bodies not knowing that they were there. I thought lola’s family was ingenious.
Her relationship with lolo was very tumultuous. Somehow, I couldn’t quite get the full details about their relationship from my mom. But what I understand from it was that my lolo was a very jealous man.
Fighting was constant in their relationship. Lola would runaway bringing all her children with her. She gave birth to my aunts and uncles in different parts of Iloilo and Negros that my mom had a hard time looking for her birth certificate.
Mama is proud of the fact that even when they barely had anything to eat, lola never considered giving up any of her children. Mama said that a barren rich lady wanted to buy my aunt from her. Lola said that they would have to kill her first before she gave away any of her children.
Lola once hit me with a spatula in the head when I kicked my cousin, her favorite apo. I remember how I tearfully told her that she had hurt my feelings. I told her that I only did it because I saw how my cousin kicked her earlier.
She never apologized. She did not try to make up for it.
Mama told me that when I was a baby, lola spoiled me. She carried me in her arms the whole day.
When I learned how to drive, Lola used to beg me to take her to places. It irritated me when she cried and asked me to let her in my car. But it would also break my heart to see her run after me after I left the house.
Lola was a staple in all my graduations. She would often tell her seatmate that her son was the top graduate and that she had to climb up the stage to pin him ribbons until there was no space for one more. She was so proud of my tito that she even had the gall to ask me why no ribbons were bestowed to me.
But whenever that same son asks that she spend her night with them, she would ask him to take her home, to us. She would usually use me as an excuse. She misses me, she said.
I became her favorite apo when I began giving her the attention she wanted. Whenever I arrive from school and she sees me walking towards her, she would call out my name, complete with my surname and say “ayan na ang pinakamaganda kong apo.”
Until the very last day I saw her alive she had never forgotten my complete name. She no longer spoke when they took her to Iloilo. But she was still able to say “ba-bye” to me before she left.
There are lot of things I remember about lola. Random things. I remember giving her a bath because I felt ashamed of myself when I saw how dirty her feet were. I remember how she would save the last piece of chicken, her chicken, for me. I remember how she liked to stay near the sea.
I want to remember her. I want to remember how she liked beaches in Cebu and how she loved fried chicken and spaghetti from Jollibee and butter pulvoron from Goldilocks. I want to remember how she looked for her tobacco and raged war for her lost Zippo lighter and P2 worth matches.
I just want to remember her forever.
I love you, Laling. I love you so much and I miss you already. But I am very happy that you’re now in heaven and resting. Please give my thanks to God for lending you to me for the past 22 years. Please give my thanks to Him for giving me one of the most wonderful person in the world.
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