Ruth is a full-time writer. Foodie. Happy camper. Wanders a lot. Used to have the worst taste in men. A reformed swipe-a-holic. Reviving her blog after its death.
Sunday, June 22, 2003
My Tatay and I had a serious discussion about my future before he left us for work (he’s a seaman so I won’t be seeing him again for the next ten to twelve months).
Him: So, you plan to study next semester?
Me: Yes.
Him: What course?
Me: I don’t know yet.
At the back of my mind though, I was telling him that I’ve decided to go for Master’s Degree in Creative Writing. But I don’t want my tuition to come from him. I want to find a job so I’ll know how it feels to support myself.
Him: Why not proceed to law?
Me: Umm… I don’t want to…
Him: You don’t want to be a liar?
Me:It’s not that, it’s just… I don’t think I can pass the board exams.
Him: But you passed the Civil Service Exam. That’s telling a lot.
Me: ?!?
(Ugh, how can you even compare Civil Service to a Board Exam? You don’t even know how many times my classmate kept on telling me about how her room became a fire hazard because of all the cases that she has to read everyday. And you don’t know how terrorizing her young professor is… )
Him:You’re getting too fat. Go to a gym.
Me: Hahahaha… (Give me some money.)
***
I’m feeling guilty. Everytime he leaves us I always feel guilty.
I feel guilty that another chapter of my life will probably open and end without him witnessing it.
I am guilty of spending his money without giving a thought to the sacrifices that he has to make.
I always feel scared whenever he leaves. Scared that he might not come back again. Scared that his ship will sink, collide, or explode. Scared that he might get sick.
Always, before my mom and I leave the airport, I always ask this from God, ”Please, don’t return him to us in a box.”
It’s a morbid thought, but I have to accept that it has happened and it will happen again. I’m praying, praying, praying that it will not happen to him, to us.
***
Right now, I’m considering Civil Law… Just to make my Tatay happy…
If nothing happens in my life for the next five months, I will seriously think about it.
I need a challenge in my life. And if ever, I won’t take it in UST. Too expensive. Too familiar.
***
I just saw Vic Chou on a Chinese channel wearing a maid’s uniform!
Honestly! Seeing him in a woman’s clothing is not sexy at all.
Not. Sexy. At. All.
I didn’t chance upon this channel, okay. I usually go there to see if they’ll show some video clips of my favorite boyband in the whole wide world—F4. And, I’m hoping that they’ll air Meteor Garden 2 too (I read from a certain forum that they do, but the guy who posted it wasn’t very specific about the time and day).
Hence, I usually check this channel from time to time. I was lucky enough to catch this showbiz-oriented program. They were showing 5566 and how it rained on their fans’ day.
Then, they showed some scenes from Meteor Garden 2 (I couldn’t be mistaken, I’ve seen music videos of Broken Vow, Yo te Amo, and Close To You a thousand times to be wrong). Man, F4 looked good, so fucking hot! Especially Jerry Yan. They were sporting new hairstyles too. Uh-oh, dirty thoughts coming up.
Then out of nowhere, they showed cutie-pie Vic in a common maid’s uniform! Maid, as in the uniform Jlo wore in Maid in Manhattan. Except that his dress was black and white and he had a matching maid’s cap to go along with his whole outfit.
I’m seething. I’m furious. I can murder his agent or manager or director or whoever it is responsible. I know actors have to be dedicated to their craft and all. But this one’s ridiculous.
It’s damaging to his image! If this is a preview of any Meteor Garden sequels, I will personally pull the hair of the producers. Hua Zei Lei was MG’s Prince Charming, for crying out loud! They can’t just make him wear that!
This is actually worse than seeing Jerry Yan wear hot pink pants and Vanness Wu come out onstage in a lobster costume.
I’m hyperventilating. I can’t breath. I need to see Martine McCutcheon’s “Perfect Moment” music video to calm me down.
***
Let’s see, F4 collection update:
Meteor Garden 1, episodes 1-19= check
F4 Jakarta Concert = Check
F4 Japan Concert = Check
F4 Music Video Collection = Check
Behind the scenes of Meteor Garden (.wmv) = check
Meteor Garden II soundtrack = check
F4 albums (Meteor Rain and Fantasy Fever)= check (many thanks to Pam ;) )
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