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Ruth is a full-time writer. Foodie. Happy camper. Wanders a lot. Used to have the worst taste in men. A reformed swipe-a-holic. Reviving her blog after its death.

Sunday, August 04, 2002

Sa aking espesyal na kaibigan,

I know the feeling of being afraid in becoming too dependent to another person.

I know the feeling of being afraid that one day she’ll/he’ll walk away from you, without looking back, without even a “thank you”.

But then, as always, I learned the hard way. I’ve learned that being a coward means losing a memory in which you can draw strength from in the future. Holding back means not sharing a part in you that was meant to be shared. And hoarding that emotion will just end up into frustration.

Somehow, being too dependent on the presence of another is not so bad. Even if they forgot the appropriate “thank yous” and “I owe yous”, knowing that somehow you touched their lives, changed them for the better can always comfort you. For the rest of your life na yan. Kahit na hindi na uli kayo magkita. Don’t you think that it’s enough?

I can’t promise you that I will always be here for you. But if you will remember how much I love you at this very moment I’m typing this letter…

I. Hope. It. Makes. You. Smile. Anytime. Anywhere.

Your friend

***********

My barkada invaded pammy’s house, again. We watched Pretty Woman, the directo’s cut. I’ve realized that there were some scenes there that I didn’t understood the meaning the first time I’ve seen it (I was an innocent once upon a time).

…Like when Julia Roberts touched Richard Gere’s dick while she was driving the Lotus car.

*************

Does love making in movies always have to use a red gel in their lighting? Not that I’m complaining, but do they always have to appear so red? What’s wrong with ethereal white?