Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I got the weirdest SMS from a guy last Easter Sunday.

And when I say weird, I’m actually being kind. Somehow, I do not care anymore if his bestfriend (who I like/am in-love with) is actually reading my blog. Several times, I’ve tried to tell him that there’s something wrong with his friend, but we either end up fighting or not talking for days.

I’m actually at the point where I don’t even care that we may end up not seeing each other again if he can’t put some reins on his horndog of a friend.

Two good friends of mine said that the cruelest reply to this guy is to not reply at all. Well, I hope he’s not holding his breath.

I don’t want to be his “true friend” because for him, a true friend is a euphemism for a fuck buddy.

I don’t care how far or near he looks. I’m way, way out of his peripheral vision.

I will never want to cry on his shoulder because he’s a creep and will probably use that episode to feel my boobs beneath my shirt.

I don’t want to hear his problems anymore, I used to listen to him solemnly. Where did that get me? A misconception that I actually dig him.

So if getting rid of a creep also entails getting rid of a potentially good boyfriend, then so be it. It’s just not worth the stress and the icky feeling afterwards.

***

I had a high fever the past few days and it was hell. I hate being sick mainly because it stops me from doing constructive things. I don’t get sick very often, but when I do, I always feel like that this is it, I am gonna die right here, right now.

So I guess I have to thank all my friends who stayed with me during my drama queen moments. But most of all, I would like to thank my college barkada whose love for me just grows with each day that passes that they don’t see me.

Shayn used to terrorize a prof so that he’d change my grade into a higher one. I don’t know how she did it, but I got a flat 1 on my thesis. Now, we take showers together. Which goes to show that we’re not lesbians cause we don’t get turned on by each other’s naked bodies. She even knows my e-mail password.

Pammy had always been the generous friend—generous in time, a place to stay, knowledge, among other things. She likes to surprise people. It’s like she knows you’re special but it’s not enough that she just says it. She needs to show it in the most unexpected way possible.

Patwee is a bully and she’s proud of it. With just one raised eyebrow, she could make me behave in any way that she wants me to. Now, she’s someone I call when I feel like I’ve done something terribly evil. I guess I just need her validation that I am not as bad as I thought.

Leidy had always been the mother hen. Hell hath no fury like her kids’ scorned. And I’m one of her kids. Sometimes I feel like whatever we’re feeling she feels it a hundred times more. Like if somebody pinched me it would feel like somebody pulverized her bones. So, most of the time she takes action. And most of the time, you have to set her aside and tell her, breath Leidy, it’s okay.

The best way to describe Kathy is to leave a whole paragraph empty for her. She’s a walking mystery. It’s like she can read other people’s aura. She asks you the most dumbfounding questions and the right ones. It’s amazing how the right questions can lead you to the answer that you didn’t know you were looking for.

Now, Gabby is my weakness. I think he knows it too. Most of what I did in college, I did it to please Gabby. But it just irritates the hell out of him. So I guess you can say, I never felt loved by Gabgab my whole college years. Until last year, while eating in 7-11, he offered to buy me chocolates (he knows I could be bribed by sweets), and then while we sat on that high stool chair he told me that I should never let other people make me feel bad about myself.

I don’t think that the new friendship that I formed since them are any less or that my new friends make me feel less safe and secure. It’s just different.

It could be the number of times we took each other’s uniforms off. Or it could be the times when we drove around Manila and flashed to no one in particular but the thoughts that our blouses were open and our bras exposed added some thrill to it. Or it could be the times when we suffered through the floods that our school is so famous for. Or it could be the times when we screamed “Imuuuuuuus” at the top of our lungs for no logical reason.

Or it could be the way we believed in each other. We had no doubts in our minds that we are strong, intelligent individuals who could conquer the world. If we had an idea, we know we can do it. And there’s no stopping us.

Miss you fox! Not a day passes that I don’t thank God that you’re my friends. The Almighty couldn’t do any better even if He tried.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

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